27 on the 27th

On the 27th of this month I turned 27..

27 years of happiness

27 years of love

27 years of blessings

27 years of joy

I am very thankful, I’m very grateful. Alhamdulilah..

Happy 27th Birthday to me.

………..and Happy birthday to my reservoir of thoughts! YES, my blog is ONE year old today 🙂

Dying..

This blog is dying, and I’m in the process of resuscitating it with all my might! However, I’ve come to realise it’s not a one-man’s job (“woman” for this matter).

I know for some people this place is still ALIVE, because I see silent readers every single day (in the statistics), to you I say: I need your help, I need you to chip in!

If this place touched you in any way, if it managed to lift your spirits one day, or made you smile, or maybe just proved a point, or made you say: Yes, I do agree. Then please, comment here, let me know. You can be as specific as you wish, or just a nod would do, wait I can’t see you nod, so comment, say something. In whatever way, tell me that this place matters (if it genuinely does of course, I’m not inviting anyone to lie, I’m just back from Hajj remember :p)!

Blog – behind the scenes!

Teeth whitening? Weight loss? Money making? Baby making, and many other immoral ones! What’s up with this new outbreak of SPAM in my blog?

You don’t see them among other comments because every single day I’ve got to delete at least 2 spam comments. Annoying!

Do you get them too?

I chickened out

Oh yes I did. I feel like a failure. I feel betrayed and defeated by my own self. I’m still in denial and I like to blame the circumstances for this withdrawal from such a courageous act. How I wish I could just go back and … do it!
 

Let me explain. On my trip back to Muscat from England, I felt the urge to write, to fill a piece of paper with the most powerful tool in the world, with words. The Mr. was sitting beside me, his eyes fixated on a tiny screen in front of him, indulged in what appeared to be the “monsters against aliens” movie. I asked him to bring me the notebook from the overhead locker, he laughed hysterically to what I thought was on my request, apparently it was on something he’d seen on the screen, a monster fell down or something close to that. I politely asked again if he could get me my notebook from the overhead locker, another laughter, a very deep one this time. My compassionate self chose to let go of my urge to write and let the Mr. focus. There must be something more important after all, the monster again ready to take a serious step forward, maybe?

It’s difficult to suppress an urge, I’ve never thought it would that difficult. Alas, you learn a lot when the one and only person you know among some 200 others, on a place above ground, on air,  chooses a monster over you!

I felt lonely and I seriously needed to vent out. I saw nothing but a pile of magazines hidden inside a pocket in the seat in front of me. There, my eye glittered, I produced a gentle squeak of laughter that only echoed back to me, because again the Mr. was deeply entertained with monsters and aliens! I picked the “duty free” magazine, and started searching like a nurse trying to look for a good vain in a fleshy area for a prick. I found it!! Spacious, colourful and inviting… and I wrote……

words..

words..

 

I spilled those words out, put the magazine back in it’s pocket to rest in peace, covered myself with the blanket provided and sighed in relief. I’ve always imagined I’ll write something in a bottle and drop it at the sea to see where it goes. That was kinda unrealistic, this thing I did was very realistic. It could easily reach a reader’s hand, I was really eager to see what happens next. If you notice, my blog link was there, so the reader could and hopefully would get back to me, sometime!

Just after this courageous act, I knocked gently on the Mr.’s shoulder, told him what I intend to do, he laughed, looked at me and said “I like the idea, but you can’t do it!… you simply won’t”, I said “WHAT?! Why not? you’ll see…”

The captain announced that we have started descending. My mind was on auto-pilot at the moment, driven by innate powers, I took the magazine and had it resting on my lap. The last thing I remember was this piece of paper (the picture above), with my words on, on my lap. We arrived safely, came home, I opened my handbag to take my contact lens solution out, and………. the paper was  in my handbag! My courageous act was……..in my handbag!

I know…. I feel like such a coward! I’ve turned one of my fantasies down, I feel hopeless. I came back from this experience, with 3 words, “I chickened out…”!

 

Posting from England

GoodBye

Goodbye

 

Goodbye…. wait, I’m still blogging, I just won’t be posting much for the next couple of weeks! I’m in the UK for a course, guessed it? Yup a stuttering course, thinking about it makes me freak out, because I’ve travelled an 8-hour flight for stuttering and it’s becoming the last thing I think about late at night. I seriously need help, I think I’ve gone beyond the “crush” or “infatuation” stage, I’m in a serious relationship with stuttering!!! I know I know I’m married, I feel bad but rest assured I’m now working on a strategy to open-up to my husband, I should really tell him about this new love, don’t you think?

Freakin Fabulous Award!

 

I’ve been awarded the freakin fabulous award (first award in the history of this humble blog) by no other than the freakin fabulous Nadia, and this is how I feel :D, you can’t blame me, it feels so good to be appreciated, let alone appreciated by *NADIA* , I love you girl….

Rules of the Award:

  • List five current obsessions.
  • Pass the award on to five more fabulous blogs.
  • On your post of receiving this award, make sure you include the person that gave you the award and link it back to them.
  • When you post your five winners, make sure you link them as well.
  • Don’t forget to let your winners know they won an award from you by leaving a comment on their blog.

 

My 5 Current Obsessions (in no particular order):

1. My husband (who else would cook me lunch, when he’s fasting?! My husband took a day off last month and decided to fast, I came home from work only to find him rolling samosas and placing them in the oven, I am still touched!)

2. Panadol Extra (my magic pill – it kills a ferocious migraine just like that!)

3. Internet (where strangers become good friends just like that!)

4. Kids (my clients/patients at work, I love them… particularly the stutterers and the hearing impaired, I have something towards’em, just like that!)

5. Traveling to the UK (I didn’t realise it until I noticed that I jump up and down when there’s an opportunity to travel to the UK, I don’t really love the country but traveling to it gives me comfort, just like that!)

 

My winner(s):

To make my winner extra special, I’m only choosing ONE, and my respected winner is the famous one and only ————————> Dhofari Gucci aka Nadia!

Honest tag

 
I’ve been tagged by Nadia, for the first time in the history of this blog and I’m flattered 😀

honesty rag

Here’s the deal to do the Honest Tag: tell your readers 10 things about you that they may or may not know, but are true. Tag ten people and be sure to let them know they’ve been tagged (a quick comment on their blog will do). Don’t forget to link back to the blogger who tagged you.  

So here we go, 10 random honest things about me:

  1. The most dreaded chore of my day is brushing my teeth
  2. According to the BMI index I’m considered underweight but I still exercise and seriously watch what I eat!
  3. I do not watch horror movies. I’ve promised myself not to because when I do, my imagination plays creepy stuff. 
  4. I’m a fairly good driver but utterly hopeless when it gets to directions, I get to my desired destinations in two ways; Shahrayar drives me, or he draws a map for me. Otherwise, I’m lost in a maze!
  5. I wake up everyday, get into my car and think I’m going to die in a car accident, pathetic I know. I’m striving to change this habit.
  6. I believe that Shahrayar (hubby) and I are a match made in heaven, Alhamdulilah *blush*
  7. I rarely cry and cannot cry in front of anyone but Shahrayar
  8. I am very tolerant and it hurts me when others are not.
  9. I’ve believed and made to believe that I’m a good saver (money, that is) up until I got married, that is when I discovered or actually made to believe that I’m a darn spender! Now I do not know where I fit.
  10. I speak can communicate using Sign Language and I love it so so so much!

Dear reader

Dear reader,

Hope this finds you in good shape. This is to inform you that I have added an extra post titled “About“, right under “Pages” on the left sidebar.

 

Sincerely yours,

Shahrazad

P.S: Will ya’ll go check it out? 😉

….a casual note

 

Having a blog is like pulling your thoughts from deep within, putting them on the surface for display. Your once hidden words are put on the table for others to see and chat about.

Why would anyone want to reveal their thoughts? Aren’t they safer where they are, concealed deep inside? The thing is – through comments, you get reassurance, you get comfort and you get opposing thoughts. This ultimately helps you reflect and contemplate.

My words are no surprise to me; I’m just printing them down to satisfy my visual cortex. Looking at once intangible thoughts now printed in a well organized manner makes me happy! That’s for me…

…….For others, it’s seeing the “other” me! The “hidden” me. When I converse with others, I monitor what verbal messages come out. Whereas in a blog, in my corner of thoughts, I put whatever crosses my mind, because there is no other party, it’s me, myself and I. It’s my reservoir of thoughts..

For those who know me in person, after displaying only “some” of my thoughts in public, are you seeing or slowly unfolding the “other” me, or do my thoughts match the visible me?

Enlighten me please 🙂

Fresh Start

Today is just a day after my 26th birthday 27/04/1983!

After going through a soul replenishing journey in Phuket, I’m launching a fresh start to my self, one aspect of this start is constructing a reservoir of my random thoughts in the form of a “blog”!  This reservoir should serve as a store of my random thoughts, documented, to go back to one day and reflect upon.

This should be a mentally stimulating experience 🙂 I’m so looking forward to transofrming my thoughts into printed words.