The Mr.’s journey to the butcher

Here we go again, after the attention he got from his last contribution to my blog here, the Mr. chooses to do more of it again. I don’t mind, it’s healthy for him to vent out on someone other than me and something other than FarmVille (his annoying current addiction!)… Enjoy: 

There is a joke in Egyptian about the barber who used to work as a butcher. Well, yesterday this was a reality for me!

I do not shave in barber shops usually, due to personal preservation on the cleanliness of such places. I have invested the money in buying all the shaving tools that I need to carry out the job professionally at home. And yes, that includes the barber “L” shaped razor blade (call me old fashioned, but I don’t use the fancy Gillette razors as they do not give the precision they claim to give !!).

Unfortunately , I had a bad shoulder muscle for a month and couldn’t shave. I was starting to look like a cave man so I had to give in to my wife’s nagging and settle for the local barber shop (though my cave man look “should” work to her delight because I attract less attention :p).

I stepped into the barbershop, the barber stands up with a big smile on his face, I could clearly see that he is stoned, either due to chewing paan (Indian cannabis) or just watching long Indian movies on the salon TV. As a side story, I once went to a barbershop with my dad. Dad was disturbed by the Indian movie on show, so I took the initiative to flick the channels hoping that I would find something of interest, to my surprise all the channels were Indian !!… and I thought the TV was installed for the guest’s entertainment !!

Anyhow, back to my story, the barber wrapped me in a “yellow stained” towel, smeared my face with shaving gel in an unfashionable manner, while looking away and chatting with the other barber. I could literally taste the gel and could hardly breath without sucking in some of the gel covering my nostrils.

As he shaves my moustache, he takes more from one side in an obvious way. I can only do very little when under the knife, so I sit silent and obedient, hoping he knows what he is doing. He then goes into shaving my neck and hiding every blood drop with a small piece of tissue.

Now my face looks like it has been bashed with a shovel taking part of my moustache away, or like I have a hemi-paralysed face. To fix this, he goes on shaving, with an attempt to move my face centre line half an inch to one side compensating for his mistake (if he was a plastic surgeon he would have probably made an attempt to move my nose too !!)

After finishing his master piece he looks at me with a smile asking if everything looks fine !! whatever I say would not change a thing, I just smile back and leave with plenty of tissue papers to wipe off the blood and an explanation to my wife when she sees me with barely any mustache left.

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7 Comments

  1. Nadia said,

    October 17, 2009 at 9:38 am

    Ahahaha…. this is why it’s great being a woman! Shahrazad, imagine if we had to go to the barber every Friday? What a waste of time/life.

    I like the ‘yellow stained’ towel detail. Adds to the drama. Please accept my condolences on your lost mustache. If God Wills, it will come back.

    No sympathies otherwise on my part. Thanks for entertaining me so early in the morning.

    Cheers

  2. Standy said,

    October 18, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    LOOOL!!

    ewo at the yellow towel.. thank god the beuty saloons are clean!! (well at least where i go to)..

  3. October 18, 2009 at 9:35 pm

    Hahaha great story! Really enjoyed reading it 😀

  4. Shahrayar said,

    October 20, 2009 at 10:41 am

    I am really sorry for the late reply. I was away and had no access to the internet.

    Nadia, it is indeed a waste of time, but looking as a cave man is not an option, the only other thing I could do is shave at home and avoid this hassle. And about the level of details, I have to say I might have exaggerated a few things to make them dramatic, but the details are definitely for real.

    Standy, not sure what is happening in beauty saloons (if only I can take a peak :P) but I am sure you would be surprised on what happens behind the scenes.

    Sara, thanks for stopping by, I am glad you enjoyed the story.

  5. Buthaina said,

    October 22, 2009 at 11:39 pm

    I understand why this guy doesn’t think the barber’s doing a good job. It’s because when we do something for ourselves, we tend to do it perfectly.. or anywhere close to that. That’s why we prefer handling those fragile belongings by ourselves, we know others do not care as much as we do. I know I can’t trust my camera with anyone.

  6. Shahrayar said,

    October 24, 2009 at 10:06 am

    Thanks Buthaina for passing by. I somehow agree and disagree with what you said. I agree that we tend to handle fragile things by ourselves because we know others would not care as much. But what the barber did was far from being a good job. I was not looking for perfection, just a clean shave. If we can’t trust our barbers to do that then God bless us. I partly think it is our fault, we (Omani’s) tend to accept bad service due to our humble and quite nature (I guess). As you see I just walked away and did not protest or pick a fight with the barber.

  7. Um Haitham said,

    October 30, 2009 at 5:42 pm

    i can feel now shahrayar is having the same way of writting as sharazad, nice story enjoyed the details
    keep it up sharayar


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